15 Şubat 2012 Çarşamba

A different act in native tongue: Gececinin El kitabı


Gececinin El Kitabı:
Bölüm 1:
Gececinin gunu 6dan sonra baslar,ececinin gunu saat 12.45 te bitiyorsa işte o gün gayet güme gider

Bölüm 2:
Saat 1 den sonra gelen siparis gec cikar.bol kufurlu cikar

Bölüm 3:
Kahvalti 6,30 da baslasada kahvalti etmeye 6 da gelen mini cakallar her zaman olacaktir,bufenin saat 6 da neden hazir olmadigini soran garson arkadaslarin olacagi gibi.bufe saat 6da hazir olsa ii'dir ; ama bu bir sart degildir.

Bölüm 4:
Eger saat 14.00 olmus ve gececi hala uyuyamadiysa bu gece cok iyi gecmeyecek demektir.

Bölüm 5:

Eller havaya:
Cuma ve cumartesi gececi ise giderken insanlarin gece gittikleri eglencelere imrenmesi dogaldir,avuntuyu "olsun bende bu sekilde para biriktiyorum"larda bulacaktir.
Bölüm 6:

Panik yapma.:
Kimi zaman mesaiye basladiginda sabaha cikmasi gereken yemegin bir takim malzemelerinin otelde mevcut olmdadigini ve ya,room service menusunde ki yemeklerin kimisinin mise en place'inin tukenmis yada bozulmus oldugunu fark edebilirsin.bu durumda sakin panik yapma.yaratici olmaya calis yeni biseyler uret yada salla.duruma gore onceki vardiyadakilere sovmek stresini azaltabilir.
Bölüm 7:

Dead line.:
Her gececinin belli bir programi ve bu programa gore yemeklerin hazir olup sicak arabaya girdigi saatler vardir,room service siparisleri yogun olur ve o deadlinelar asilirsaa,gececi sinirlenir.sabah isi devrederken ondan yardim isteyecek olan meslektasina ,"hic cikmiim istersen",gece musteriyle ugras gunduz bunla ugras",gibi gereksiz giderler yapabilir.




Bölüm 8:

Servis ile mutfak farki:

Geceleri mutfak gececisi bolum 7 de bahsedilen deadline lari kavcirnak icin istemedigi yerlerden terler dokerken, servis elemani utorrentten indirdigi filmi ona ayrilmis odasinda izler,ara sira siparis oldugunda veya karni acikinca cok nadir hal hatir sormaya mutfaga gelirm.kalenderdir.
Bu hal hatir sorma rutininde de servis elemani gecenin zorluklarindan bahseder nasil yardirdiklarindan bahseder ve mutfak elemaninin derdine bi nevi ortak olur,mutfak elemani isinden basini kaldirip onayladiktan sonra servis elemani room service odasina geri donup taze indirdigi filmi seyretmege devam eder.bir nevi karinca ile agustos bocegi iliskisi sozkonusudur.
Bölüm 9:

Sosyal çevre:

Madde 1:
Sosyal ağ : Gececi gece vardiyasında 1 ay geçirdikten sonra başkalaşım geçirmeye başlamış, insandan çok insansı bir oluşum olma yönünde ilerlemektedir.Normal insanların sosyalleştiği saatlerde uyuduğu için insanlarla irtibatı kopan gececi,yavaş yavaş depresifleşir "herkes beni unuttu galiba" diyerek yalnız bir hale burunmeye,başlar.Bu durumda gececinin sosyal paylaşım sitelerinde varlıgından insanları haberdar etmesi,mantıklı bir davranıştır,psikolojiyi hafifletir.
"Madde 1'i tekrar edelim...gececinin sosyal ağları kullanabildiği bir akıllı telefon edinmesi cok işine yarayabilir.,"
Madde 2:
Topluma mal olmuş sevgililer gunleri,yıl donumleri,yılbaşları,dogum gunleri, ve içinde bilimum tarih" bulunduran ... gunleri",Gececinin bulunduğu jet lag aleminde yer almaz.Gececi hergun aynı gune uyanır,aynı gunu yasar ve evine gider,eşi veya sevgilisi o zaman zarfında calıstıgı için yalnız basına kendini rahatlatır,uyur,uyanır,işe gider ve işte eve gittiğinde tekrar kendini rahatlattığını duşunerek mutlu olur.Gececi "... gunumuzu unuttun" gibi sitem kar cümlelere " bugun gunlerden ne?","hmm ayın kaçı peki?"gibi gercekten hangi tarihte olduğunu bilmediğini gosteren cevaplar vererek,yaşanacak kavgaların trauvmasından kurtulur.off çeker ve kendini rahatlatmayı düşünür...
Madde 2 yi tekrarlıyoruz: Gececiye özel günlerle gelinmez.(Gececi hangi günde olduğunu bilmdeiği için)

Madde 3:
Zorunlu işler:
Gececi kendine yaratılan fanusunda yasarken(bknz madde 2),hayat her zaman bu kadar basit olamaz tabiki,bazen gececinin gün
ortasında yapması gereken,zorunlu işler olabilir,"banka işleri,yeni iş goruşmeleri,okul,kurs,spor,vs.vs..." gibi.Gececinin bu durumda programını çok iyi yapması,uyku planlamasına önem gostermesi gerekir.Fakat bu soylendiği kadar kolay değildir.Gececi çogu zaman kendini yatagında 2 saat donup dolaşırken,ve 1 saat uyuyup yapması gereken zorunlu işe agzından kopukler cıkararak ve kufrederek giderken bulur.O psikolojiyle tekrar eve uyumaya gelir,fakat uyuması yine 2 saatini alacaktır.Gececinin bu psikolojiyle işe gitmesi sakıncalı gün içinde iş yapması tercih edilmeyen bir olgudur.

Bölüm 10:
Legacy:
Gececinin calıstığı saatlerde en cok muhattap olduğu insanlar,bulasıkcılar ve room service servis personelidir.Gececi genellikle stewardlar(bulasıkcılar) 'dan ondan evvelki gececiden daha yavaş veya daha pis calıstığını ibare eden cümleler duyar.Bunlar bir miras gibi ondan sonraki gececiyede söylenecek sözlerdir gececi bu sözleri kale almamalıdır....


Bölüm 11:
Kırmızı nokta saati:
Geceleri otellere cok cesitli insan gelir.Genel olarak iş için kalan grupların dışında,istanbulun turistik herhangi bir yerine denk gelmeyen 5 yıldızlı oteller 1 gecelik zengin adam ve kadınların kacamakları için kullanılır.Gece oda servisi odasında film izlemekten sıkılan,ve tahmini bu tarz bir kacamak odasına içki gotururken denk geldiği hoş bir hatun tarafından etkilenen kimi servis personeli,soluğu o sırada yine bi tarafından terler akmakta olan gece aşçısının yanında alır.Hikaye 403 teki çift ve hatunun kapıyı açısından başlayıp egerki servis personeli biraz da bıçkınsa yine böle bir gün elemanın içkiyi goturduğu gecelikli hatunla nasıl birlikte olduğuna kadar gider veya çiftin onu nasıl gruba ikna ettiğine kadar varır.Bu hikayeler cogunlukla o sırada kendini rahatlatmayı düşünen gececi beyninin birer ürünüdür.Akıllı gececiler bunlara kanmaz ama yinede karşı tarafında moralini bozmaz " hadi ya!" "Vaay be" gibi heyecan belirten cümlelerle olaya aksiyon katılır ve iki tarafta o an kısa bir kırmızı noktalı film izlemiş edasıyla işlerine geri doner.Tabi bu olaya inanıp "ulan bir günde telefonu açsalarda şefin sipesyalini isteseler bende onlara şefin sipesyalini göstersem,hahaha" diye harıl harıl çalışan gececi aşçılar da mevcuttur.

19 Ocak 2012 Perşembe

Act 4: Countdown of a life


"Death,So called,is a thing which makes men weep,
And yet a third of life is pass'd in sleep."
Lord Byron 

 As the night  fades and starts to give way to the morning sun,I look at my watch and see the time and date,18th of January gave way to the 19th and I got 11 days left till I get my pay check for the month.As I am in desperate need of money,that soothing thought only lasts for 5 seconds as I realize I have lived 27 years of my life willingly dying.I start to think am I the only one or are there others doing the same mistake that I did for 27 year.My colleagues,my friends,my parents,my lovers and ex lovers.Everyone around me does the same simple mistake and so often they do it with out even realizing that we are willingly dying,and taking our life for granted.Every moment we spend on earth is a gift,given by a powerful being.Doesn't matter what you call it,but its given to you.

The system that we live in and the way of life that we have made us in to these consuming monsters and machines that doesn't even realize what we are consuming.
I take myself back to the memory lane again, I am 15 years old  and  there I am, sitting at school,looking at the time,willing it to pass by so I can take my sorry little ass to recess and talk to my friends and flirt with the girl I like that is in an other class.At recess I find my self waiting for that school day to be over.And while I am going back home I find my self counting the days of the week.Being happy that it is Thursday and I got one more day to go till,its weekend.And inevitably Sunday comes,I probably spent that whole weekend doing silly things like masturbating and watching movies,maybe talked about girls with friends while I spent my fathers money on coffee or burgers.the next day I have school and all I can think about before going to bed is when will the school end and how many days I got left till its summer vacation.
This habit that we inherit from our elementary school days until the end of  University keeps with us,our whole life.We wait for our shift ends we wait for the off days we wait for the annual vacations then there are also bills to pay,mouths to feed.Months,years pass before us. we reach the age 20 we reach the age 27 we reach the age 35 and in a blink of an eye we reach the age of 60 dying everyday willingly to remain in the system,at 60 we retire,our old  weary heads can finally find a piece of mind.What is retirement anyway,the government says you died enough now you can live.Then the government asks "and lets see how much you were worth while you were doing that?" and concludes you in to a sum of money you receive on monthly bases(which in my country is never enough).
Retired folks look back at their life and regret mostly the choices that they made,then find comfort in their accomplishments.Like their kids and grand kids,or the material things they bought which they will pass on to the next generations. Go to places that they wanted to go before,do things in their bucket list.Some start to write,so that they can leave something before they depart into the unknown.

I take a step back again just as I did before while I was looking at that painting that was my life.That is not a way of life,this is simply a waste of it.
Anger and rage forms up in me again,there is a "fuck you" to be said.and I think everyone who is reading this should say this.But how?
The system is inevitable.We turned into viruses just as Agent Smith said to Morpheus.And there is just one way to say fuck you to this inevitable system,just don't care for it too much.If you are broke embrace it,that little amount that you is what you need be adventurous and take it as a challenge beat it,or be beaten its not the end of the world you will get up again.Stop looking at the time cause you can die any moment.
If you hate your job so much Think of your self as a retired person,think of what you wanted to do before you ended up in this way of living,that you always want to escape from,start planing on how you can achieve that,may be you have to take courses to get to reach that,and maybe you still need that job to pay for it.Then even that job you hate will have a purpose.
If you are really sick and tired of the city the system whole of this destruction whole of this consumption.Then hit the road,save up to get supplies then start hiking.Learn how to hunt and get outdoors-man skills live in the wild,like Christopher Johnson McCandless.

And when you stop looking at the time,stop counting days,stop this countdown,you will my friends say a big "Fuck You" to the system.

"To me the honor is sufficient of belonging to the universe-such a great universe,and so grand a scheme of things.Not even death can rob me of that honor.For nothing can alter the fact that I have lived;I have been I,if for ever so short a time."
 Bruce Frederick Cummings



16 Aralık 2011 Cuma

Watching the view from a distance

From a crossroad to another,I am walking the paths most of us walked before.Although Why I rebelled like the way I did is another story to be shared,The music playing on the background is taking me on for another ride,
Taking me to this boat that I used to sail from one side of my city to the other.To get back to my home.
On those lonely nights after work,it would be so silent,so quite that you could hear the waves pounding on the boat.And looking at the city from the distance as it sails away,gave me a melancholic joy.
We used to be able to smoke out side that public transportation those days.And the smoke coming out of that cigarette would add another dimension to that view.
I was so young and so naive back then.The word regret was not in my vocabulary,didn't have the motto  "I don't regret anything,I just live it,and if it turns out to be a bad thing I learn from it" I didn't have that much of regrets to say this probably.It was just me,and I felt like the world was coming to me.
Life works in a different way though seldom we find ourselves on a crossroad and we take a step towards that moment,then things revel and most of the times we ask ourselves the question of what it could have been like if we took the other way.
Road to regret is so easy to find.Its bitter and hard to accept the fact that whatever it is that made you the person today starts with accepting the choices you made.There is no way of living in the alternative universe where you made that choice differently,so you need to learn to accept it.
Accepting is the hard part,when ever I find my self asking the same question and walking the same road to regretting,I place my self on that boat again and think about that melancholic view and say "that guy sitting on that bench smoking up his cigarettes was happy looking at that view even though he had many questions about life, because he was strong and fearless and he felt like the world was coming to him,why should you feel any different".So why should you,you didn't die yet did you ?

26 Kasım 2011 Cumartesi

ACT 2:The Lover,The Friend,The Triangle

Act 2:
Lao Tzu once said:
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage"

"Its too late and too cold indeed but nothing a shot of whiskey can't handle after work" said the dock worker,while placing the new crate that arrived in the pile of crates that is getting ready to be shipped.
"Man,its been 4 days since you have seen your wife,don't stay up this late tonight and go home" replied his friend,"its cold but nothing the warmth of your loved one can't heat up".
The Dock worker cleaned the dirt in his hands with his trousers and smiled at his friend " Gina is spending too much time seeing her best friends right now so I don't think she will mind"

We miss and skip those moments sometimes,those moments that carried us to be in love,those moments that made us wake up and embrace the reality that love is the only true freedom.Sadly love is not everlasting,it fades and those chills and butterflies in the stomach fades and all the joy it brings dies into bitterness.Screams of happiness and faces filled with stupid smiles leaves for shots of whiskey and faces that frowns and sobs.Relationships turns into routines leaving for a life filled with one,and during this time,a new fling turns in to a new excitement a door out of your miserable routine .but those flings  good or bad cannot be fully lived,because you still have your heart beating for your loved one.So the flings don't take us anywhere but a frown this time filled with compunction.And we still welcome them.
Why?
For a guy,its always simpler,wandering eyes meets a girl,to be banged for the fun of it.A score that is noted in the scoreboard.
But for a girl,it is not that,Keep in mind that girls always have some guy best friends standing in shadows,some guys that tells them nice things and be there for them whenever they are down,comforting them.
You sometimes catch an sms or mail,the good old guy best friend explaining his feelings in a thuggish romanticism.The guy is probably drunk and he is trying for a home to be settled at cause he is too alone and shit.And when you try to explain to your girlfriend that this friend of hers don't seem right you always end up in   a discussion that ends badly.
And they always come with a package,a similar back story.;A probable short lived flirtation followed by  5 years and plus friendship where they joked about being back together again from time to time.But when you bring this subject up you are the bad guy,cause they had  all the time in the world to be that but they didn't so you should be great full?

So the flirtation works,so it does for the guy too.A relationship filled with boredom can always be a new window for a relationship with a good friend,that has flirtations in it.
I've been in all the spots of this love triangle,never had a best girlfriend who had alternative motives to be friends with me,I don't think best girlfriends become best girlfriends because of their alternative motives anyway they are different from us guys.
But we on the other hand want a girl sometimes but end up in the best friends department.Or start sharing our dis functional relationships with her,to get pointers and when it all ends for us,find ourselves,wanting to be with our best girlfriends.
Knowing that includes a harsh burden when it comes to you being the boyfriend and that other guy being in your shoes being the best friend.Is that Karma?
In the end I came up with a conclusion,This whole situation,this whole mind fucking,anger making,stomach curling,disgusting situation is not on the boyfriend or the best friend,it is all on the flirtatious girlfriend who says yes to you and keeps the alternative on the side.
Cause with or without knowing she continues on flirting with the best friend but in a way when confronted about it she has all the proofs that she never did such a thing.While saying to the boyfriend that he is the only guy for her,the guy she fell in love with and the guy who she lets inside of her privacy.

The only Innocent person here is the boyfriend who know what is going on but keeps harmed in anyway.
So what Braindamage says is stop lying to yourselves and admit what you are doing for once.

Stories of a damaged brain

ACT 1:THE MANIFESTO


So this a gallery a gallery of paintings painted by artists like you and me,placed on a wall called life.Recently I find myself in front of a painting which I believe is my life.I take a peak at the other painting next to mine,and in an unsatisfied gesture I turn around and start taking a tour of this art gallery and ask myself  "how is it,that all of these paintings are so similar?"The answer I have not yet found but I think I am close.May be its because we are living similar lives without even knowing or caring for it.
So,we are born,we learn to walk and run.We start socializing,we have friends and people we dislike,we get bullied,we get yelled at,we learn the ways to stand up once we fall down,and then we fall down again.Then life takes a new turn and starts teaching you its rules.
By the age of 1 you learn that there are rules,but you don't care for it.You have to eat,at dinner time,you shouldn't cry too much,you should start speaking,you should sleep at sleep time and you should grow up to live for the new sets of rules.So you start crying,that basic fact never changes,from that point on.
Basically the social environment we are living in states that,we should be involved in a religion, have a nice education, and work background,be done with government services like military(if its mandatory),have a career planed out and an aspiration in the gut to have more material things.Having a bank loan so that we could buy permanent or  semi-permanent things like a house,a dog maybe,a car definitely,a marriage and a baby or a couple of babies.And after that point on we become a complete part of a system that made us cry in the first year of our lives.
As I am walking around the gallery I rarely see happy faces,most of the spectators are sad and disgusted that in their paintings they had to draw things they didn't want to but they did it anyway so that they could fit in.Most of them are doing jobs that they never wanted to,and supporting a dis functional family,because they are living in one where there is no love anymore only forced labor.Or they were married because it was logical.
I finish my tour and stand infront of the painting that I started to hate,light up a cigarette,I hear Jim singing The End in my head,start to remember,every relationship I had and the jobs that I was in,every single mistake that made me draw this carbon copy of a painting that was forced on me to be drawn while I wished to draw something entirely different.This quote comes into my mind.

Emma Goldman once said

"Anarchism, really stands for the liberation of the human mind from the dominion of religion; the liberation of the human body from the dominion of property; liberation from the shackles and restraint of government"


I realize that my cigarette is nearly finished and I have to put it out.And I slam it in the middle of that pitiful piece of art,burning every detail with its heat.A grin forms on my face,as I know that my brain will be damaged forever from this point on.Cause I will have my way with life.not theirs.

This is only Act 1 of a series of stories that will be shared...Stories that are familiar to us all.