"Death,So called,is a thing which makes men weep,
And yet a third of life is pass'd in sleep."
Lord Byron
As the night fades and starts to give way to the morning sun,I look at my watch and see the time and date,18th of January gave way to the 19th and I got 11 days left till I get my pay check for the month.As I am in desperate need of money,that soothing thought only lasts for 5 seconds as I realize I have lived 27 years of my life willingly dying.I start to think am I the only one or are there others doing the same mistake that I did for 27 year.My colleagues,my friends,my parents,my lovers and ex lovers.Everyone around me does the same simple mistake and so often they do it with out even realizing that we are willingly dying,and taking our life for granted.Every moment we spend on earth is a gift,given by a powerful being.Doesn't matter what you call it,but its given to you.
The system that we live in and the way of life that we have made us in to these consuming monsters and machines that doesn't even realize what we are consuming.
I take myself back to the memory lane again, I am 15 years old and there I am, sitting at school,looking at the time,willing it to pass by so I can take my sorry little ass to recess and talk to my friends and flirt with the girl I like that is in an other class.At recess I find my self waiting for that school day to be over.And while I am going back home I find my self counting the days of the week.Being happy that it is Thursday and I got one more day to go till,its weekend.And inevitably Sunday comes,I probably spent that whole weekend doing silly things like masturbating and watching movies,maybe talked about girls with friends while I spent my fathers money on coffee or burgers.the next day I have school and all I can think about before going to bed is when will the school end and how many days I got left till its summer vacation.
This habit that we inherit from our elementary school days until the end of University keeps with us,our whole life.We wait for our shift ends we wait for the off days we wait for the annual vacations then there are also bills to pay,mouths to feed.Months,years pass before us. we reach the age 20 we reach the age 27 we reach the age 35 and in a blink of an eye we reach the age of 60 dying everyday willingly to remain in the system,at 60 we retire,our old weary heads can finally find a piece of mind.What is retirement anyway,the government says you died enough now you can live.Then the government asks "and lets see how much you were worth while you were doing that?" and concludes you in to a sum of money you receive on monthly bases(which in my country is never enough).
Retired folks look back at their life and regret mostly the choices that they made,then find comfort in their accomplishments.Like their kids and grand kids,or the material things they bought which they will pass on to the next generations. Go to places that they wanted to go before,do things in their bucket list.Some start to write,so that they can leave something before they depart into the unknown.
I take a step back again just as I did before while I was looking at that painting that was my life.That is not a way of life,this is simply a waste of it.
Anger and rage forms up in me again,there is a "fuck you" to be said.and I think everyone who is reading this should say this.But how?
The system is inevitable.We turned into viruses just as Agent Smith said to Morpheus.And there is just one way to say fuck you to this inevitable system,just don't care for it too much.If you are broke embrace it,that little amount that you is what you need be adventurous and take it as a challenge beat it,or be beaten its not the end of the world you will get up again.Stop looking at the time cause you can die any moment.
If you hate your job so much Think of your self as a retired person,think of what you wanted to do before you ended up in this way of living,that you always want to escape from,start planing on how you can achieve that,may be you have to take courses to get to reach that,and maybe you still need that job to pay for it.Then even that job you hate will have a purpose.
If you are really sick and tired of the city the system whole of this destruction whole of this consumption.Then hit the road,save up to get supplies then start hiking.Learn how to hunt and get outdoors-man skills live in the wild,like Christopher Johnson McCandless.
And when you stop looking at the time,stop counting days,stop this countdown,you will my friends say a big "Fuck You" to the system.
"To me the honor is sufficient of belonging to the universe-such a great universe,and so grand a scheme of things.Not even death can rob me of that honor.For nothing can alter the fact that I have lived;I have been I,if for ever so short a time."
Bruce Frederick Cummings
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